More Wedding Handy Hints

Book Early

There are some days when I'd love to be able to clone myself - so many wonderful people, and only one me. Celebrants and local wedding venues often have bookings up to two years in advance. March and November are the most popular months - and "everything wedding" will be heavily booked around those times. You may like to think about either a Friday evening or Sunday wedding.

Bridesmaids

A plea from a local dressmaker - when selecting your bridesmaids do take into account how far they will have to travel for fittings. You may like to purchase enough fabric and patterns for all your bridesmaids and have each lady have their own made. Please too, consider both mothers, they may like to tone in with the bridal party, and each be consulted about what the other is wearing.

Brides "men"

Yes, these days a Bride can have men as her attendants, so too can the Groom have a "Best Woman".

Budget

This is important and may need to be discussed with all contributing parties. Decide who is paying for what. It can be helpful to decide early who is organising which aspects of the wedding. Look under Checklist for a guide. If your budget is really tight, you may like to contemplate a late morning ceremony and a catered picnic lunch (local guests could bring outdoor chairs and tables).

Ceremony

What would you like to share with your guests about your relationship? What does your relationship mean to you? Is the Bride going to be "given away"? Perhaps both of you would like to be "given away" by your families? I really want to help make your day as wonderful as possible, and therefore will create and personalise your Ceremony just for you.

Children

A wonderful addition to any wedding, but they do get tired so you might like to time your ceremony around their sleep patterns. There are many simple ways children can be included, from flower girls and ring bearers to the important job of holding the bouquet. If children are to be included in the Ceremony, it is important to have a rehearsal beforehand so they know what is expected of them.One of the most important times for children is immediately after the Ceremony. They can tend to feel left out of things, so it's important to nominate an adult who they are comfortable with, to take charge - of course telling them how well they did.

Some couples hire a nanny or clown for the reception so children can attend the formal part then adjourn to a separate room for fun activities.

Confetti

A lot of wedding venues forbid the use of confetti because of its environmental impact. Your guests may like to use bubbles, dried rose petals or rosemary (a sign of fertility) instead.

Decisions

Oh so many of these to be made and often, so many people trying to make them. This can be really tricky sometimes, after all, its your day. You may like to let the major contributors take decisions in turns - sometimes the nest way to nip conflict in the bud before it arrives.Facials: If you are contemplating a facial, Beauty Therapists suggest three days prior for your skin to look it's best on the day. And if you don't already.. a few weeks before the wedding add a lot of fresh fruit to your diet. Your skin will glow health and vitality.

Gifts

This can be difficult for guests when couples have already set up house. Some stores offer a Wedding Register service whereby you leave a “Wish List” from which guests can select a gift that also suits their budget. Alternatively you may like Guests to donate to your favourite charity. One couple had an early morning wedding, no gifts, and guests paid for their own breakfast. There's often a family member or friend who would really like to help out. A handy job for them would be to get them to write what gift came from who on the back of the card attached. That way all the cards can be kept separate and you can thank each person for their specific gift.

Guests

If your guests are coming from out of town, along with a local map, you may like to include points of interest/restaurants etc in your area. Accommodation: Do you have treasured relatives and/or friends who may need to travel long distances for your special day? If so, accommodation may be heavily booked at certain times of the year. Budgets for guests will also factor into this, as at peak season the rates will rise.

Guest Book

You may like to warn guests prior, so they can bring a special poem or saying, photo or memory for your Guest Book. With their invitation you could also mail them a blank scrapbook page on which they can write their happy memories of you.An alternative to this, at the reception have a framed canvas, on which guests can write a short message.

Guest Activities

Your photos can take up to two hours. What do you do for your guests? You may like to think about some of the following to keep them amused. Have them taught line dancing/how to work a hula hoop, rent circus side shows (coconut shies etc), hire a magician/ comedian/tarot reader/puppet show, serve high tea, have a wine tasting.

"Hen Party" or Stag Night

Much as these events may be fun for the participants, you may like to think about holding these events 2 or 3 weeks prior to the wedding. Legally a Celebrant cannot perform the wedding ceremony if one of the couple is "under the influence" of anything other than love!

Helpful relatives and friends

There are many areas where those wishing to help can be a great asset. From someone with great handwriting doing the place-cards to that very organised friend writing/typing out envelopes for the thank you cards, there are a myriad of jobs available.

Honeymoon

Book your honeymoon early - you may need to get Visas, etc.

Invitations

Invitations are generally sent out two months prior to the day, earlier if the wedding is to be held during a popular holiday time. Please include your "Plan B" option in case of rain, with a couple of mobile numbers (helpful friends) guests can contact on the day.

Lateness

Not fun for the Groom nor the Guests. The number of times I've heard someone say "Oh its the Bride's prerogative to be late"...this in 38 degree heat with a lot of the men sweltering in their suits. Often this is not the fault of the Bride/Groom/ etc. Emergencies (hairdresser's power going out, photographer's car not starting etc) can sure happen on the day so book your appointments early.

Marriage

Food for thought, so many couples say after the wedding "If only we'd stressed less about the wedding and focused more on our marriage". A pre marriage class or counselling can be invaluable and a great distraction to the myriad of details needing attention for the wedding.

Music

Please - if you're having a live band or singer for your Processional/ walking in music, let your guests and Celebrant know if they are going to play the entire song.

Photos

Ah, that wonderful creative photographer! All too often they get carried away with taking that perfect shot....meanwhile, back at the venue your groom, guests and Celebrant are melting. Being over 10 minutes late is not fair and not an option.

Some couples create a website on which they will put photos for their guests to view. There are also sites like

www.ringo.com where you can post your photos so families and friends can also view them.

Lighting

If having an afternoon wedding, you may like to think about getting some of your photos taken before the Ceremony. This can save a lot of waiting time for your guests, and allow time before daylight disappears. Do check with your photographer before scheduling.

Plan B

Important, important ..and did I mention important! No-one wants you and your guests to get drenched. As mentioned under "Invitations" helpful friends with mobiles can be invaluable to redirect guests to an alternative venue if you get rained out. If the weather looks doubtful and you are having chairs for your guests, a supply of old towels can also be handy to wipe the rain off the seating.

Seating Plan for the reception

Ask me to email you information on this. It was too large a file to put in here but contains some handy information.

Style

Would you both like a formal or relaxed style of wedding? What reflects your personalities? Your guests will appreciate knowing the style, formal or casual.

Thank You to your Guests

Australia Post offer a service whereby they will do a special (legal) postage stamp featuring one of your wedding photos. Ph 131318 http://pstamps.auspost.com.au/index_wf.html

Themes

Some couples have theme weddings, i.e. Star Trek, Rock and Roll, or everyone wearing the same colour. Another different idea is to hold the wedding at a place of special significance, e.g. the school where you met, the park where the proposal took place. You could even have a "This is your Life" theme, where guests bring something significant representing their connection with you. Alternatively, if you are like a lot of couples who want a casual event, you may like to have a Barbeque reception.

Timing

To contemplate - Do you have many older guests or children in your bridal party or as guests? If so, you may like to opt for an earlier ceremony so they won't get too tired. Many couples are now opting for Friday or Sunday weddings. Another alternative is to split your day. Have a special breakfast (or lunch) with older family members then hold your ceremony late morning (or afternoon). Lunch (or dinner) can then be held with friends and work colleagues.

Venue

If your wedding is outdoors, you may like to actually go there at the same time of the day that the wedding is scheduled. Are your guests going to be in full sun or shade? How much passing traffic noise is there? Are there any local churches which may have bell ringing practise? Bookings can be heavy at popular wedding venues - check out the availability early if you have a favourite.
Should you wish to marry in a public place you will need both the permission of Council, (or other Government department), and often a booking. If outdoors, you will need a contingency plan in case of bad weather.

Once a venue is booked, it can help save arguments later if you get quotes and confirmations in writing. Use the expertise of the Venue Staff - they have years of experience.

Wills

(From a legal eagle). Marriage revokes existing wills, unless they were made specifically in contemplations of the marriage. If either of the couple should die suddenly without having made a new will, the estate would go according to the laws of intestacy, which is not always what the person would have wanted. With so many second marriages and split families these days, new wills are essential.

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month .. which we know today as the honeymoon.

Jan Littlejohn

Ceremonies with Style

http://www.ceremonieswithstyle.com.au/

Wedding Traditions

What does Bridal mean?

The brew the bride and groom would drink was referred to as "bryd ealu" or "bride's ale," which became "bridal". An old meaning of ale was feast or celebration but this evolved into bridal somewhere in the 14th century, when it was used to mean the totality of the wedding, not just the feasting afterwards.

Bride:

One theory: the word bride derives from mediaeval Latin and old French which means only one thing - a daughter-in-law.

Bridegroom:

Language experts suggest that before 1066 that the word was bryd-guma, bryd meaning bride, and guma, a variant of the Latin word homo, meaning man.Within 2 centuries guma had disappeared as a stand-alone word and bryd-guma had evolved as bryd-gome (gome being an old English word for man, as in Gawain and the Grene Gome).The word groom only became associated with horses much later (the 17th century).

What does Wedding mean?

“Wedding” literally meant the purchase of a bride for breeding purposes.
The word wedding comes from the root meaning to gamble or wager. The Anglo-Saxon word "wedd" meant that the groom would vow to marry the woman, but it also meant the money or barter that the groom paid the bride's father. This is believed why it is still customary for the father-of-the-bride to “give away” his daughter.

“Tie the Knot"

To “Tie the Knot”, came from the Roman times when the bride wore a girdle that was tied into knots which the groom had the fun of untying.

You may Kiss the Bride…

The kiss that seals the wedding has long been a token of bonding and the exchange of spirits as each partner sends a part of their self into the new spouse's soul, there to abide ever after.

Bride's side/Groom's side

In ancient days, fathers would offer daughters as peace offerings to warring tribes. Because of the hostility, the families were placed on opposite sides of the church so the ceremony could go on without bloodshed. The ceremony united the two warring factions into one family, and danger of war was resolved.

Bride on the Left…

One thought on the origin of the bride standing on the left goes back to the days when the groom would capture his bride by kidnapping her. If the groom had to fight off other suitors, the groom would hold his bride-to-be with his left hand allowing his right hand to be free to use his sword.

The Attendants…

The tradition of bridesmaids evolved from the custom of surrounding the Bride with other richly dressed women, in order to confuse the evil spirits.

The first marriages were by capture. The best man would help the groom fight off other men who wanted the chosen woman, and prevent her family from finding them. The “best warrior” would stand for the groom, thus the “best man”.

Confetti or Rice throwing

Showering couples was a tradition thought to have originated in order to keep evil spirits away from the newly married couple. In some cultures the bride and groom were showered with sweets and flour, small fruits and nuts. Rice, grain and corn have always been symbols of fertility. Confetti was thought to be an evolution of these although these days rose petals are more environmentally friendly.

Something old something new, something borrowed, something blue (and occasionally "and a sixpence in the shoe)...

The "old" needs to be something which has belonged to a happily married woman. The wearing of such an item insures a lucky transfer of happiness to the new bride. The "new" is the wedding gown, the shoes, or other bridal attire. The "borrowed" must be some object of gold to guarantee wealth and fortune in the future. The "blue" is symbolic of the heavens and also of true love. The "sixpence" must be worn in the heel of the left shoe to insure wealth and prosperity.

Groom's flower

Traditionally, the Groom's buttonhole was adorned with a single flower plucked from the Bride's bouquet. This came from the medieval days when a Knight wore his the colours of his lady to show his love.

Honeymoon

The word honey is from "meala" in Irish. The word for honeymoon is "mi na meala", the “month of honey” and refers to how the bride and groom would spend that period of time. In Bulgaria, couples were locked away together for a week!

Irish monks first produced the fermented honey brew called mead for medicinal purposes; then found it could make well people feel even better. Following the wedding a sufficient amount of mead was given to the bride and groom, along with special goblets, so they could share the unique brew for one full moon after the wedding--and thus the term honeymoon was coined. It was believed that this delicate yet potent drink was the best way to ensure a good beginning for a new marriage and it was also believed to endow powers of virility and fertility.

It is also lucky that if on the journey to the church the bride to sees a policeman, clergyman, doctor or a blind man on the way to the wedding.

Wedding Traditions From Different Cultures

African American: Jumping the broom. Slaves were not permitted to marry in America. They would have a public declaration of love and commitment by jumping over a broom to the beat of drums.

Cuban: Cuban wedding receptions are famous for their festivities. There is almost always lively music and dancing at a Cuban marriage celebration. Wedding Guests partake in the traditional money dance, where each man who dances with the new bride must pin money to her dress, to help the newlyweds with their honeymoon expenses.

England: (FLOWER GIRL) The children act more as "pages" mainly to hold the train.......actually this was done by a young boy.

India: To ward off evil, the groom’s mother would sprinkle flower petals over the couple at the end of the ceremony.

Irish Tradition: (For Good Luck)

Sun shining on the bride.To hear a cuckoo on the wedding morning To see three magpies.After the wedding ceremony, it was important that a man and not a woman be the first to wish joy to the new bride

Italian traditions: To ward off evil eye, the groom would carry a piece of iron in his pocket on his wedding day, since his happy situation might provoke envy, and invite supernatural danger. (As well the bride wore a veil to ward of evil) Tearing the veil was considered good luck.
At the end of the wedding day, the couple shattered a vase or glass into many pieces. The number of pieces represented the expected number of years they'll be happily married to one another.

Common theme, past and present, emphasizes food. A strong link with family life, food is the focal point of festivities. The sheer volume of food reflects how highly anticipated and festive a typical Italian wedding is. The elaborate wedding of the couple brings together the friends and relatives of both families in a celebration of their new relationship.

Japan: To become husband and wife, the couple takes sips of sake, becoming husband and wife after the first sip.

Jewish Tradition: The Jewish Chuppa canopy offered a sanctuary from evil spirits.

Mexican: For fun & entertainment, a traditional piñata. And guests would form a heart--shaped ring around the couple before the first newlywed dance.

Scottish Beliefs: For good fortune, a bride should be met at the door after the wedding ceremony by her mother, who must then break a currant bun over her daughter's head.

Sweden: Swedish wives wear three wedding rings: for betrothal, for marriage, and for motherhood.Wales: Spooning: coined by lovesick men of Wales. A suitor carved a spoon of wood and presented it to his beloved. If she wore it around her neck on a ribbon, she returned his love and they were engaged.

Jan Littlejohn
Ceremonies with Style
www.ceremonieswithstyle.com.au